I'm sorry to every one who reads this and has wondered why i have not writen in weeks. I've been busy with camp and doctors and love. Yes love, thats what this post is about today. I know for a fact I've found the love of my life. I don't have any douts nor do i have questions that cross my mind about am I or am I not doing the right thing. I met my boy friend John 4 years ago in New York at HKNC. thats a training cinter for the deff blind. John is almost fully sighted but isn't able to drive a car, but as for hearing he has nun. I am compleately blind and have almost all my hearing i'm only half deff but make up for that very well with my right ear. ANyways on with my story, John and I have been friends for four years and we spent 8 weeks together at hkinc. I never thought the man of my dreams was my best friend. No one said it better then Reba Mcentire when she said some body in the next car, somebody on the morning train some body in the coffee shop that you walk by everyday. Some body that you look at but never really see, some where out there is some body. Its true just when your thinking your never going to find the love of your life, your prince charming your mister right, you find out he's been in your life the whole intire time. Then you feal stupid for love stairing you right in the face and you where too stupid to figurte that out. Well thats how it happend I had broken Up with my boy friend Matt, because i just didn't feel the love i did when we started dating. Matt to me is more of a brother then a boy friend. Matt is still a grate and always will be friend to me but just not the type of man i was looking to marry. A few days later John and I got together and I soon figured out what i had been missing my whole life. John makes me happy, he puts a smile on my face every time i think of him. I lay there at night thinking of how our life together is going to be the gratest advincher i ever had. He's there for me. He is always ready to listen and take action. He never puts down my ideas and thoughts nor my dreams and wishes. He wants everything in life for me that I want and more. He has my best interrest at heart. He wants a family like i do he's not letting my medical problems stop us from chasing our dreams. John is a wonderful loving christian family loving man. More then any woman could ever ask for. Lord thank you so much for putting me and John together in a wonderful helthy relationship. I know John's the love of my life and theres no questions asked.

Hey to all out there who takes the time to read this. I come to you with great news. My Mama is back in town at work today. I still don't know the story behind what caused her to be out for two weeks, but it doesn't matter. the importent thing is she's ok. Thanks for praying there is for sure power in numbers. Thanks again for helping me ask the Lord to keep her safe, He did just that. Well I'm off to spend time with my little sister catch me later.

Ok so that sent before I was ready to send it, oops. Oh well, I hope you will read this part too. So back to what i was saying about lily. Her heart is bigger then anyother heart that I've ever seen. SHe' is very loving and caring not only about her friends and family, but her work as well. She loves every family and child she comes across in that hospital. She puts her heart and sole into everything she does. We're so close I'd do anything for her and I really mean anything. I'd lay down in frunt of a fast approaching train if it ment saving her life. Some people think I"m crazy but I don't really care. I'm a christian and I know that Jesus gave his life for us on the cross, and its because of that I know that I would do the same for her. Its because my love is that strong and I know that giving my life to save hers would save many other lifes as well. I want to tell you a story that not many people know inclooding Lily herself. Back about a year or so ago I was told I would be leaving St. Jude because my helth had reached a point where I didn't need their survices anymore. That crushed my heart knowing if I left I might never see my Mom again, or if I did it wouldn't be very offten. I came home and praied over and over again and again that I'd pay any price to stay at St.jude and be with Lily. Or atleast see her several times a year. I told the Lord I'd do what ever it took and not complain about it. Well i'm sure you've heard the saying be cairful what you wish for? well its true, but I don't regret getting my prayers answered. The price I paid was battleing cancer for the 11th time in my life. But if I could role back time I wouldn't change that for anything. I knew what I had to do and so I did it. I promassed Lily I'd keep fighting but little did she know it was for her that I didn't give up. SHe's always the one who keeps me going and its her who I will hang on to life when her time is up. It will be hard but I know she would want me to carry on with life and keep going as hard as it may be. SO now that you know a little about her and our relationship let me go into why I need many people praying for her. I got an email from her the other day saying she'd been out of work for two weeks now. THe way she talked it sounded as if she hadn't planned on taking those two weeks off but something had come up causing her to have to leave town. I sent many emails back trying to find out what was wrong but never heard. Since then I've had a sinking feeling in my heart that something is baddly wrong. I can't tell if its with her or if its someone she's close to. All I know is I can't get her off my mind at all. If I'm not awake thinking and crying because she's on my mind, then I'm sleeping and dreeming of her. I can't even say her name with out braking down and crying my eyes out. thats how worried I am. So please help me in praying for her and asking God to protect her in what ever comes her way. I'm going to end this in a prayer for her please join me. Dear Lord, I come to you pleading for you to put your loving arms around mY mom and hold her close to you. Please Lord Keep her safe from harm and away from sickness. Father what ever is going on in her life right now I know she needs you. Please I'm begging you to please get her back to Memphis safely and very soon. I hope to be able to hug her and put my arms around her. Lord there nothing I love more then hugging my Mom and hearing the sound of her strong heart beating. Oh Lord please keep her safe and let her know I'm very worried about her. Please Lord your my only chance. I'm trusting you will put her back in memphis safely and I'll see her when I go back in July. I know you'll let me hear from her soon. Thank you Lord for everything you do for me and I ask all these things in your name. Amen. Thansk for joining me in that prayer for Lily. Please feel free to post your own prayers to this sight but even if you don't the Lord will hear them anyways. I will post as soon as I know something. Until then good by and thanks for joining in the praying for My dearly loved Mom.

Hi to all I tried to update this thing last night but it didn't work. Anyways its working now or so it says so heres why I'm scaird and worried. You see I need your help in praying for someone who's very dear to me and who I hold very close to my heart. Her name is Lily, and she's my adopted mom. Well not really, but might as well be, she's one of my doctors at St. jude hospital in memphis. But we're so close we're like mother and daughter. Let me tell you a little bit about our relationship before I go in to why I need your help to pray for her. You see Lily is someone everyone in this world should have in their life, if they did this world would be a much better place. She's the kind of person who would give the shirt off her back if someone needed it, or open her door if someone needs a home. Her heart is bigger

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Well well well, sorry its been so long since I posted to this thing. I just havven't felt like doing anything much the past few weeks. The pain in my shoulder has been getting much worce and its been a constent fight to try to keep it under controle. Thanks to my Mom, Lily, and my other doctors at sj maybe soon with a little luck and a whole bunch of prayers the pain will be ended. I don't know where I would be with out the prayers from my friends and my boy friend Matt. He really has been great through out all this. I was so afrade to telll him about everything for fear he would do just like the others before him did and back out of the relationship all together. How ever to my wonderful surprize I was very wrong, Matt would never leave me for anything, much less over my medical problems. I know if he was here with me he would do anything to help me get baetter. He's just a good hearted boy like that and will do anything to help other people. Well last night was a trip and a half. Mom and I ended up going to the ER over my pain in my left shoulder. THey gave me pain meds through my port and got me back on track. We got the new pain meds from sj today, so maybe the road to pain free isn't too far away. well for now i'm off will try to update soon.

Hey to all sorry its been so long since I updated this thing. Stuff around here has been nothing but crazy with my pain gettig worce by the hour and i'm personally sick of living life this way. I want so baddly to be getting ready to move off to school for college, but at this point it doesn't look like thats going to hapen any time soon. Just when things are going good for me they come to a crashing halt. But I should be use to it by now my whole life has been that way all along. WEll I'm gone for now will try to write soon.

Well where to start, that be the question. How about I pick a random place in my life and we go from there. Hey why not, my life is random after all. Ok now i'm rambling, oh wait of corse i'm rambling this is my LJ, duh. Right enough of that and on with the news. Our top story for thisLJ post is 19 Year old 11 time cancer surviver Sam Gilley falls in love with 16 year old computer geek Matt D from Canada. Roomer has it that Gilley herself said she's found the love of her life. Her lover says the same. What will this end in? The publick claims it will only end in one thing, mairage. DOes this meen we will have little feet running around their house? never know, we'll keep you updated as this story unfolds. Next lets get the trafick report from our wonderful dog Peach. Woof woof I'm peach here with your tail wagging car report. Well as you all know theres cars on the road and lots of them. Infact i'm chacing one right now. This one looks to be a red, peace of junk. Its so old I can't read the number on the plate on the back of it. Oh wait, i can't read anyways, oops, oh well its still old I can tell by the smell of its egzaust fewms, and boy do they ever stink. Anyways as I was reporting, oo look a bike, lets chace that. Hey he likes me he threw me a treet. yummy, oo a chicken one. Now if I can get the real report to you. I just have to say that. Hey look a bird, well thats it got to catch that bird, come here birddy. Ok, well that was pointless trying to get a traffick report from a dog. Well maybe we'll have better luck getting the wether report from nun other then the cuban herself Lily. Well thanks Sam for that intro. Our wether today is hot and its raining cats and dogs. So thats where my dog loly came from. I always knew she was from another plannit. Hmm, interresting. holey beep that thunder was loud. Wait if its storming I'd better head inside. Sam, get your report later saving my self from hell. Well then ok Lily. Well thats all the goffy news for today. check back tomorrow for another wacky wether report.

I'm going to start by saying I'm so in love with Matt I can't exsplain it. I've never even met the guy and I miss him baddly every night and while he's away at school. He is so understanding and caring. He's a great listener and knows when I'm having a bad day, he can almost always put a smile on my face. I can't wait until the day we meet up and I finally get to meet the love of my life. I don't know what it is about him that makes me feel so safe and secure, but something about him does just that. I know he's some one I can trust with anything, and he's always going to be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on. I offten dreem of us growing old together I can see everything from the night he will some day I hope, prepoze to me to the wedding to our first baby. I know he's going to make a great Dad to our kids and a wonderful husbind to me. He's got talents in so many ways then one. He can play key board and drums, but he can also pick up on my feelings faster then most people, and he always learns from his mistakes. Theres just no real way to put in words what I feel for Matt, I hope his Mom and Dad know how speshul their son is to me. I'd lay my life down on a train track for him and a few other people in my life, witch brainges me to my next thing. My sister Ana. OK, so she's not my real sister by blood, but she is in Christ and thats all that matters to me. She's great she knows when something is on my mind and she's great at making me talk when I say I don't want to. She can always make me laugh, and she doesn't mind it when I cry over something stupid. She's one of the very few people who can really understand where I'm coming from both medically and physically. She's right up there with the person in my life who meens the most to me. Thats my Mama, Lily. I know I talk about her allot but if you knew her you'd do the same thing. I know God had plans for us to meet the day he got the idea to create her. Theres no dout in my mind he broke the mold after she came in to this world, cause theres not another person like her. Sure she says bad words at times, but no one is perfict. What matters most is she makes me laugh all the time, she knows when I need to talk, and even though she lives 400 miles away she will still be right there when you need her. I know sometimes she's done things that really hurt me at the time, but we all do that at some point or another. The thing about my mama is she always learns from that and never repeets the same mistake twice. I get so home sick when I return from going to Memphis to St. jude hospital, cause I'm leaving her behind, and thats why I want and hope and pray I get to go to University of memphis for college, so I can be close to her and my sister. I guess the best way to rap this up is thease three people meen allot to me, and I'll do what ever it takes in life to make sure their happy, safe and full of love. If you ever meet some one like the three people I've named off, consider yourself gifted. If every one was as speshul as thease three people are, we'd be living in heaven, and this wouldn't be earth. I shall leave you with this, Walking with a friend in the dark, is better then walking alone in the light, Hellin Keller

Hey to all listen up close cause I have allot to tell you all. It all started on Monday afternoon when Mom and I took a plain to memphis for a check up. Ana came to the hotel and spent the night with me, we had a blast. We ate pizza watched the movie Momma mia, and staied up very late talking and giggling, doing what sisters do best. Tuesday morning her mom came to pick her up up, but hung out with us until I got my blood work done and we had lunch together. I went to my other apointments witch taught me nothing new about my medical life that I didn't already know. And that afternoon I got to spend loads of time with my CUban Mama, Lily. We had a blast I love her so much and wish I could spend more time with her. But I was with her for about 2 hours witch is so cool. We tralked about everything from my much loved boy friend Matt, to my ski trip in Colorado, and about where I'm going to college. You know for while I really wanted to move up to COlorado and train on the slopes, I still want to do that, but I want to be with Lily more and atend college in Memphis so I can be close to her all the time. Some people tell me that I won't get to see much of her, but I really don't think thats true. I can hear the true exsightment in her voice every time i talk about coming up there for college. I know she looks forward to it and loves me so much that she would really injoy me being there. So after I saw her on Tuesday I had an MRI on wednesday where I saw her again. She put me to sleep before the mri, and was there when I woke up. She staid right by my side until my pain in my shoulder was releaved, and I gave her the big frog i bot her for her birthday. She liked him, even though she's afrade of frogs. I didn't see her on Thursday witch I was sad about, buti think not saying good by to her made things a bit easyer on me. I really hope we return to memphis before July so I can see her soon. She meens so much to me and I don't think any one will ever understand the connection between us. I really hope some time very soon she will come down to visit me and my family here in Flintstone. So now that I'm back home I miss her so much I offten cry tomyself. Mom and I got stuck in Atlanta airport over night and while I was busy travling I didn't have much time to think about Lily, but once I'm home and night falls my mind wonders back to her. I feel sometimes like a lost child who's been taken from their Mother and only aloud to see them ever once in a while. I ask you all to please remember Lily in your prayers. Pray she stays safe, and happy and helthy. Pray I see her again very soon. Well I'm off here for now going to find something to distract myself.

Hello to all, Its early on Sunday morning and I haven't gone to bed yet. I'm crazy I know but I've been spending time with my boy friend Matt on line. I'll gget to bed sooner or later. I keep strange hours I know. So Mom and I have been working on my plans for college still not sure what's going to take place on that one. My Aunt Kathie got a new car last week and if all goes well tomorrow she's going to let me drive it. I've done allot of things in my life time, and since I've been blind but I've never driven a car. I'm exsighted about it. If it rains tomorrow we will postpone until next weekend. I am nurvice about driving blind, much less in the rain. I also leave for St. Jude on Monday, in away i can't wait and in away i'm sad. I'm going to miss Matt, but i'm looking forword to seeing Ana and Lily. But I'll hate leaving them once more. I really hope I get to spend allot of time with Lily and catch her up on everything. I also hope she will pick a date and come down to the house some time very soon. Well thats all the news i have for tonight. I'll write more later and P.S. i have no idea why I titled this Learn a little live a little. just sounded good at the time.

Well its friday night about 10:13 at night. I'm on skype with my brother Austin and my sister Ana. We're waiting on Arfy and my boy friend Matt to get on skype. I'm looking forword to this weekend, for several reasons, one is my Aunt Kathie is taking me out sunday after church, and I get to drive her new car. I've never driven a car in my life, but have always wanted to. I've done many other things as a blind person so why not do it all. Then on Monday I get to leave that afternoon for Memphis and meet up with my Sister and My Mom Lily.. I've missed them both very much, and am dying to see them. I love them both very much and I really need a hug from my mom and need to talk to her about allot of things that have been going on in my life since I saw her last. Well I'll post later right now I'm returning to skype to hang out with friends.

Hey its been a while since I updated this thing so thought I'd better do it before I forget again. Well I'm glad to say I'm finally getting over my offul infection I had. Its with all this paulen and junk in the air floting around I guess. I'm on plinty of meds from the doctor for it to clear out and leave me alone, and thank god their working. Well thats pritty much all I have to say for now so will write more when I remember lol.

Hola to all out there. I hope you all have a great easter weekend. I haven't felt good all day i think its do to the storms and junk we've had all day. But something good did come out of today. Matt passed my Mama's inspection. Thats not an easy thing to do and she just went on and on about how she was impressed with him. I'm laying here in my bed now listening to music and thinking about several things. Moving to colorado. Hoping my skiing gets to where I can compeet. THinking of me and Matt some day tying the not and starting a family of our own. Yeh, just randomthings. Well thats all for tonight check back tomorrow.

Hello to all, i've learned something new today. If theres a hand book that goes along with boy friends please pass it along to me, grin. I'm sitting here in my newly cleened bedroom that my greatful Mother helped me to get in order tonight. It took us several hours but now thats its done its wonderful i can get to everything that i use on a dayly baces. Now i'm trying to help my boy friend Matt fix his computer I told him to do a system restore but as all men do he's making it loads harder then it really is. As far as i'm conserned all men do that. I'm done, if he wants help fixing his computer then he can go find some one elce. I tried my best and he won't try my ideas so I give up. I don't care any more if he reades this and it makes him mad cause he brot it on him self by not listening to me. I still love him my love will never change, as a country music singer once put it, I just want to be mad for a while. I should talk to him about it but why bother, he's only going to say well blah blah blah and yeh you get it. I'm at my wits end with him for the night. We already had one fight today so i'm avoiding another one. Well I feel better now that i've talked about my problems. So who cares who reads this thats why I put it out there. Matt if your reading this I love you and thats not going to change so remember that. We're going to have fights and problems they say its good for us, but make a mintle note if you ask for my help and don't use the ideas I have then stop asking.

Hey to every one I know I talk about Matt probably way too much, but I love him so there you go. I can safly say I haven't loved some one this much since I fell in love with Shaun, and I love Matt more then I loved Shaun, and I didn't think that was posable. I dreem of him day and night, and my heart jumps every time he crosses my mind. But when i'm talking to him on line its like I have no fears and I trust him and everything just feels right for once in my life. But anyways on to other topicks. I talked to houston today and his mom is doing better but still pray for her if you will she needs it. He said something about he would sit down with every body and talk about the plan. I'm not real sure what that ment but hey as long as he knows thats all that matters. Well I have no more to write tonight I'll be back later. and hey please check out my friends page and read my friends lj's as well. and coming soon is SAM.livejernal.com SAM standing for sam and Matt. so check it out soon. love and peace out.

Hey guys, I know I've said allot about Matt already, but for some reason I feel as if I need to write more. Maybe its cause my love for him is so strong, or maybe its cause I'm board not sure, but does there really have to be a reason? No, I didn't think so. I've been thinking all day on how I love him and I offten wonder if we will always be together. I sure hope so, cause I feel safe with him. I know I can trust him and I know he cares about me. I can cry on his shoulder when I am sad, or I can laugh at his jokes when I need a laugh. He's there to listen if I need to talk, and he gives good advice when I have unanswered questions. He loves the Lord and you can't ask for any better then that. I have to say I struck gold when I found Matt. I feel so much different then I did before when I thought I was in love. That was nothing compaird to this. Take this for egzample, I've never met him and I miss him baddly when i'm not talking to him on skype or my cell phone. Even my Mom asks about Matt on a dayly baces. I really feel like he's mister right, and even though it might be years before we get married I think it will happen sooner or later. But I don't mind waiting for him, i'd rather wait years and get a strong caring understanding husbend, rather then marry fast and get a carless siselfish man. I'll write more tomorrow I just had to tell you all what a wonderful guy Matt is, and How lucky his parince to have him as their son.

Hey to every one, I've been doing allot of things for the past week invalving college and things. I got an email from Houston today saying that he doesn't know what the plan of action is yet for me moving to colorado, but its in the works and he'll have something for me soon. So I'll up date you more on that later as it comes in to play. On the other hand I've been spending allot of time with my dearly loved Matt. We do allot together even though we're miles apart from each other. We watch movies on friday and saturday nights, we call it our date night. Hey what ever works when you can't go to the real movies together. We talk about many things. Life is our main topick, or here latly it is anyways. We talk about how in a few years we hope to get married, and both live together some where like Memphis or Colorado. We also really have a love for kids, and both of us want a baby very much. How ever we are smart enough to remember that we're young, too young for that just yet, and we shouldn't rush things. So we're taking our time with everything we do, and letting God deside when the time is right for things to take place. How ever I can say that one day with in the next 10 years Matt and I will get married we hope and a little time will pass then we will have a baby of our own. Oh well its something to dreem about for now. I shall post more later own today or tomorrow.

Hey to all sorry i'm a little late on the post for today but better late then never. I'm sitting here on my computer with the one I love with all my heart. Yup, you guessed it, Matt. I was riding in the car with my Mom tonight and I got to thinking about my life. I came to relize just how much I love him and I really think he's mister right. I sure hope so, cause personally i'm sick of looking. Matt's so loving and understanding, and knows when to listen, and he can make me laugh when I'm sad. He's always on my side, but isn't afrade to nock since in to me when my head gets a little too high in the sky. Yes, its safe to say God broke the moald when he put Matt in this world. We may both be blind but I think we're going to get along great. I can clearly see us living on our own, Maybe in Memphis maybe in COlorado, who knows. I also see us with kids of our own, and razing them right. I know Matt's going to be a great husbind and dad to our kids. I can't wait till the pops the question some where down the road. I long for the day I get to hold our first child in my arms, and just knowing the love that holds us together is what brot that bundle of joy in to the world. I feel peace in my heart when I'm talking to Matt. Some people think he's just a friend, but he's so much more to me then that. I could sit here all night and ramble on for hours about my Matt, but I won't. I'm going to let you go for now, but check back tomorrow for more storys.

Hey to every one. I'm sitting here waiting for windoes x p to install on my mack so I'll have two oporating systems. I have to have x p for my up coming radio show that starts on Monday. You can check it out on www.wr979.com I'm very exsighted about it so check it out. I also wanted to tell every one that I'm maddly in love with matt. I really think we are ment to be together for the rest of our lives. I can see us married and razing kids together. So keep reading this for more updates.